Post Birth Control Journey Week 5

Week 5 was another week filled with anxiety. I skipped 2 days of working out. Tuesday which was cardio because I was just tired and Thursday because it was back day and I was afraid to make my back pain worse. I also skipped my workout yesterday as well but today I need to get my ass back on track. I haven't been eating much and I am just feeling so down. I took 9 days off of doing any serious work. I feel so guilty but I know that I shouldn't. I still don't feel like doing anything but resting also gives anxiety because all I can think of is all the work I am putting to the side. I just pray I can find balance between work and relaxation so I don't burn myself out again. If you find yourself stressed with no energy that is a sign that you need to do self care and recharge. This is something I dont do often and I know I need to do it more to prevent burn out.

My week in REVIEW

Day 29

Woke up today not as anxious as I have been but anxiety still lingering. I’m really just going to listen to my body and rest as much as I can for the rest of the week. I feel tired and fatigued with absolutely no energy but I’m grateful my back doesn’t hurt as much as it did the last few days. That CBD cream is freaking magical and I get my massage tomorrow so I am excited about that. I was told yesterday that I operate on a masculine energy and I need to open up my feminine energy which is why the next few days I’m just going with the flow and not following a todo list. Let’s call this my stay home vacation. Getting off my phone at 7pm has been great. Still something to get use to but my phone definitely increases my anxiety so I need to have some type of control. Anyway aside from the anxiety and pain this week I have not experienced anything knew and nothing has been reversed either so I’m being patient. This is all a waiting game.

Day 30

Yesterday I woke up extremely tired and fatigued. When I feel this way I normally just drink a pre workout and go about my day but caffeine at this time is no good for my anxiety. So I took another rest day because I know my body needs rest and it was also back day and I was just afraid to provoke anymore pain. Anxiety was still so high with just laying and watching Netflix but I tried my best to relax. I also started to feel cramps that lasted for hours but they weren’t too bad thank god but still no actual flow. Last night I took magnesium supplements to help with the cramps because I stopped taking any pharmaceuticals that can harm my hormones. Did you know that anything you take for pain can make matters worse? It’s true which is why I stopped taking Tylenol, ibuprofen and any over the counter pain killers. I’ll be buying a magnesium spray to help with my cramps. Today I have a massage and I’m excited about that so the only things I’ll be doing today is leg day, massage and come home to rest up again. Praying for a break from this anxiety.

Day 31

Yesterday i finally got a massage to help my back pain. My massage therapist has magical hands. She found 40 plus knots all over my body but mostly in my left side of my back where I have pain and my neck. Today I’m feeling a little sore from it but overall just happy I got those knots out. My anxiety remains constant. The resting and taking off is definitely helping. I still have no energy and unmotivated but you know me I just keep going. No new symptoms I have experienced. I continue to drink my detox shake 2x a day with herbal supplements to help. Maybe this is helping me not to have so many horrible symptoms coming off. My dry skin is also much better with continued use of sesame seed oil after my showers. Can’t wait to be back to myself.

Day 32

Yesterday was the first day I wasn’t filled with anxiety. I had a fairly relaxing day with my husband and I’m just so happy I had an anxiety free day. I’m back to having no appetite due to my slow digestion. I’ve been sleeping well with my medicine but still wake up pretty tired. Today I’m just going to take it easy and keep my anxiety levels low.

Day 33

I am hoping this week is better for me. Thankfully my back pain has decreased but my damn anxiety is freaking annoying at this point. I just wonder when my body is going to normalize. I also still don’t really have an appetite. My fertility tracker is still fluctuating. Everything is just all over the place but just staying hopeful. I’m just happy thst I am completely off of birth control and no longer need to worry about these synthetic hormones making things worse. I’m in the process of also eliminating toxic chemicals from my home because there are many soaps, shampoo, conditioners and anything that touches your skin can effect your hormones. I’m just trying to do things right to feel better.

Day 34

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I took the day off to relax and enjoy my time with my husband. I notice when I don’t have a todo list on my mind my anxiety is much lower. Just trying now to find an equal balance of relaxation and work to help my anxiety. I noticed my face yesterday getting extremely dry again with some pimples. I’m still searching for the right toxic free products that I can switch to. My back pain comes and goes and I still have to use my CBD cream daily but I am also taking a CBD energy drink and adding CBD to my ginger tea in the am. I think all the CBD in my system is helping to lower my anxiety and pain which is a plus. Overall my symptoms are the same. Currently with anxiety, back pain, dry skin with small pimples, no energy, no motivation, always tired and fatigued, moody (angry or sad), still no libido, and still no period but having cramps. I’m grateful that yes this may look like a long list but my detox shake and supplements are helping a lot because things would have been worse.

Day 35

Yesterday I woke up so tired my eyes were so heavy and I was filled with anxiety so I decided that I was going to stay home and skip my workout just to relax and try my best to lower my stress. I laid on my couch for hours and still had so much anxiety watching Netflix. It honestly doesn’t matter what I’m doing I have just been a ball of anxiety. I also only ate one meal all day because mine stomach just eat so bloated. I still have no energy and I am unmotivated to do anything. Today I’m gonna push myself to go to the gym and do a little work because I haven’t done any real work for about nine days. I feel guilty but I know I shouldn’t because I work myself so hard. I really don’t feel like doing anything today either but I can’t just be a slug 🐌. Praying for less anxiety today.

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