Post Birth Control Journey Week 19

Man I dont even know what else to say this week has been horrible. I signed up to see a therapist. I am on day 8 of my new supplements and I know I have to have patience but I never felt so shitty in my life. I dont want to get out of bed. I dont want to do anything and even when I do nothing im extremely anxious. All day I think negatively and it consumes me. I hate feeling this way but at this point I dont know what else to do. I have spent over $1000 already or more for treatment I just want to feel better.

My week in review

Day 129

Yesterday was awful I couldn’t concentrate to do anything and I had no energy for my workout. What had become of me. I keep saying I know I need rest but I feel like now I have just become lazy with no drive. I need a change and fast.

Day 130

Yesterday I had no appetite and I didn’t do anything. Why do I feel so unmotivated. This is not me but I’m so tired. My body feels tired but my mind keeps running a mile a minute.

Day 130/131/132

I accomplished pretty much nothing this whole week. My body and mind are just all over the place. I’ve been restless but tired with no motivated or energy to do shit. I question myself 50 millions times and I’m just tired of it all. When will I feel better. I’m losing hope

Day 133

I’m extremely depressed I don’t ever want to get out of bed and I want to sleep all day. I feel like a complete fraud. I am feeling helpless. Am I ever going to feel better?

Day 134

One good thing I can say is that I am getting at least 7 hours of sleep. I don’t feel tired today. Praying for a good day. Got to keep this mind positive because I have been spiraling.

Day 135

I had a rough night. Went to bed maybe around 1145pm and woke up around 345am and couldn’t fall back asleep. I didn’t take note meds in fear I won’t wake up for my meetings. I have absolutely no appetite. My stomach feels full and weird. I signed up to speak up a therapist. I just don’t know what to do my body and mind is just going through it.

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